


Far Away

by misspronounced



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Self-Doubt, Spoilers, Steve is a wingman, mentions of past Stucky, small angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 09:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7428649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misspronounced/pseuds/misspronounced
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Bucky thought he wasn’t good enough for Sam + 1 time Sam told him so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Far Away

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this a short fic that I wrote pretty quickly. I had this idea and wanted to write it, so here you go! A cute Bucky and Sam get together story. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Enjoy! <3

**1.**

Bucky and Sam lay on the floor of the airport, their hands webbed up and both trying to believe what just happened. Bucky breaks free of the web with his free hand and gets up, brushes himself off, and turns to Sam. 

“Little help, please,” Sam says impatiently. Silently, Bucky rips off the web from Sam’s hands and offers him a hand. Sam pushes it away, obviously annoyed by the whole situation and stands up by himself. 

Bucky has a hard time reading Sam, is he mad at him? Or at the spider kid? Or at the fact that Steve once again dragged him into another mess? Whatever the reason, Bucky feels a pang in his chest; he felt he was at least somewhat equals with Sam, but realized maybe not so much. Sam doesn’t like that he needs help and to be seen as someone weaker than him or Steve; Bucky could relate. At the same time he desperately wants to be on the same level as Sam. 

Sam might think Bucky is pitying him by offering him unnecessary assistance, but to Bucky it was a way to bridge the past and present. A symbol of reconciliation, which was rejected. So Bucky just swallows his pride and continues the fight. 

**2.**

It’s a few days after the showdown between Captain America and Ironman when Steve broke Sam and the others out from the raft. Clint and Scott went back to their families, Wanda hid herself somewhere off the grid, and Sam joined Bucky and Steve. 

They are at a safe house somewhere in south Europe, Bucky isn’t really keeping track of location or time anymore, he’s in a haze. Bucky notices how Steve and Sam fall back into their easy friendship, laughing and joking despite the serious dilemma of being wanted men. He keeps to himself mostly, feeling awkward and vulnerable without his left arm; he also can’t help but feel helpless when he can’t even tie his own shoes. 

Sam’s demeanor was stark different from now compared to the whole Vienna and airport fiasco. He’s relaxed and easy going and talks to Steve about things that matter. Bucky wants to feel jealous but can’t because Sam radiates a warmth and comfort that permeates the atmosphere and makes him feel like things will be alright afterall. 

Bucky’s sitting outside on the porch, looking at nothing in particular just letting his mind wander when he hears the door open and close quietly. 

Sam sits next to him without a word at first. After a minute he says, “Does this make you feel like you’re back in the old days?” 

“What? Being on the run? I wasn’t a fugitive then.” 

Sam chuckles softly, “No, I meant the quiet. Steve said this century was so loud to him when he first woke up.” 

Bucky thought on that and regretted snarking at Sam when he’s just trying to make conversation. “Yeah, everything’s a lot more intense now. Everyone’s going somewhere; needs to be somewhere.” 

Sam didn’t look at Bucky, just kept looking ahead and nodded, understanding but not denying it. 

“Except you,” Bucky continues. “You don’t seem to have an agenda. I like that.” 

At that Sam looks at Bucky and studies him for a minute; not in a scrutinizing way, but as if he’s seeing Bucky for the first time. 

“Thank you, I don’t like agendas and being dictated by them, guess that’s why I sided with Cap.” 

They sit for another half hour in silence listening to the wind rustle the trees and bask in the warm breeze. Bucky thinks about his messed up life; how it has always been an agenda. He hasn’t had the liberty to makes his own choices in a long long time. Sam has though, Sam has made his own choices every step of the way. 

Bucky suddenly thinks what a fitting codename Falcon is for Sam; he is free, nothing holding him back, he can fly anywhere. Bucky feels a million miles away from Sam when he’s sitting five feet away. 

**3.**

Bucky opens his eyes and has no concept of time; all he registers is cold. Then the cold fades away and air rushes over his skin and he breathes deep. 

“Bucky?” He hears but can’t place the source. It’s familiar. He hears another “Bucky.” It’s different, but familiar again. Two blurry figures come into focus and he recognizes them. 

“Steve?” He asks and sees Steve duck his head and smile softly. He focuses on the other man, “Sam,” he breathes and Sam gives him a nod. 

Bucky understands why Steve is here, but not sure why Sam is, doesn’t he have better things to do?

“Where am I?” 

“Wakanda, you’re safe,” Steve says as he unstraps Bucky from the cryo. Steve walks him over to a patient table to sit down. 

“How long-?” 

“Nine months,” Sam answers and stands as close to him as Steve is. Having Sam this close feels new and intimate, strange but welcome at the same time. 

“But, my mind, it’s not-” he starts but stops when Steve raises a hand. 

“They did tests and brain therapy on you, when the doctors were satisfied that there was no adverse reaction to Hydra, they were confident enough to wake you up.” Bucky feels skeptical, but relieved that he doesn’t flinch when he heard ‘Hydra’. 

Once those questions are answered he turns to Sam, “why are you here?” 

“Wow, I thought we were at least frenemies,” Sam says and laughs. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Bucky says awkwardly.

“I know, man. It’s cool. I’m here because believe it or not I care about you. We fought together, you don’t exactly go back from that.” 

Bucky feels his neck and cheeks start to get warm, but smiles at Sam. 

“And besides, I didn’t have anything scheduled. No agenda,” Sam winks at Bucky and he instantly remembers their conversation nine months ago. Bucky feels like a child that gained approval from an adult. He still doesn’t feel on the same level as Sam, but wants nothing more than exactly that. 

Doctors surround him to check his vital signs and he watches Sam and Steve standing on the other side of the room chatting casually. Bucky longs for that kind of ease with Sam. Sam is still relatively new to Bucky, but he feels safe and Bucky wants Sam to look at him like he does Steve; with love, respect, and history in his eyes. 

**4.**

Bucky gets a new mind and a new arm and new way of life. He, Steve, and Sam are bouncing around the globe, eliminating Hydra bases wherever they pop up. 

It’s only been a few months since he woke up again from the cryo and he’s still not used to the whole free will thing. He catches himself waiting for Steve or Sam to tell him to do something then realized he doesn’t need to when they aren’t on a mission. 

One afternoon, Bucky realizes that Sam is not a supersoldier. He gets hurt on a mission; badly enough to retreat back to their base. Sam is lying on the couch with stitches on his cheekbone and ribs wrapped tightly due to having several of them broken. He doesn’t take to explosions as well as Steve and Bucky do. 

Steve brings Sam lemon iced tea without a word. “Steve, thank you so much. This is the only good thing about today.” 

“Least I can do. You’ll be happy to hear he got rid of those bastards.” Steve bumped his fist with Sam’s in a small celebration. 

Bucky watches from the kitchen table as Steve takes care of Sam; checks the stitches and rewraps the bandage around Sam. Steve is always so gentle and careful with people even with his strength. Bucky’s never cared for anyone like that besides Steve, and Steve cares for everyone. 

He wants to be the one caring for Sam, be the reason he heals and gets better, but Bucky also wants Sam to get to best care, so he leaves it to Steve. Bucky helps when he can, brings Sam water and aspirin and is always rewarded with a warm smile and quiet “thank you”. 

**5.**

“I have some interesting gossip concerning you,” Steve says while he and Sam sit in a cafe on a stake out. 

“I never pegged you for you that type, Rogers.” 

“Well, it’s not so much gossip, as a request from a friend.” 

“Does this friend happen to be James Buchanan Barnes?” 

“How’d you know?” Steve asks, laughing. 

“Because you two are my only friends now,” Sam says. 

“Well, James Buchanan Barnes wants to know what you think of him.”   
“‘Think of him’? How about I like him a lot better now that’s he’s less murdery.” 

“That’s a good start,” Steve says. 

“Where is this going, man?” 

“Well he thinks of you as this fantastic person that can’t be held down. He used the word ‘unattainable’”. 

“He knows I’m less super than him and you, right?” 

Steve sighs. “He likes you, okay? I didn’t want to say it like that because it makes it so juvenile.” 

“So he’s got a crush on me?” Sam asks, a little bit in disbelief. 

“It’s a manly crush. He admires you, Sam. He looks at you like he-” 

“Used to look at you?” Sam asks. 

“Yeah. But we are different now. He needs someone that won’t hold him in the past, just like I need that. If we allowed ourselves to love each like that, it would be tainted with tragedy. Even though his mind is all clear now, mine isn’t. I need a fresh start.” 

“Wow. This is. Kind of a surprise,” Sam starts. 

“Well, how do you feel about him?” 

“Honestly, I never thought my feelings would be reciprocated.” 

A smile spreads across Steve’s face, “you’re in luck. When were you gonna tell me you had a big fat crush on Bucky?” 

“I was planning on never, actually.” 

Steve’s grin grows wider before it disappears into a serious expression. “He doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.”

Sam’s eyebrows furrow deeply in confusion. “That’s crazy, why does he think that?” 

“Because you are full of life and don’t let anything hold you back. I’m paraphrasing, I promised I wouldn’t tell you exactly what he said. It was a lot of good things,” Steve says. “He smiled the entire time he was talking about you.”

Sam doesn’t have anything to say to that, he just sips his cold coffee and lets this new information wash over him. He feels content and excited all at once, wanting to rush back to Bucky and tell him he feels the same. 

“I have one request though,” Steve starts and Sam nods for him to continue. “Do not tell him your feelings right away, then he’ll know I told and become murdery all over again. To him, actions speak louder than words anyway. Show him how you feel.” 

“How do I do that?” 

Steve smiles a nostalgic smile as he looks into his coffee for a second before answering, “Well. He likes . . .” 

**+1**

Sam took vigorous mental notes of what Steve told him what Bucky likes. He learns that Bucky loves touch; he’s very tactile and will melt under gentle touches. Sam uses this tactic first. 

One morning Bucky is in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to get done brewing. Sam walks out and joins him as Bucky pours Sam a mug first then himself. Sam slides his hand slowly from Bucky’s lower back to his shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Sam says in the quiet air and watches Bucky’s reaction. At first he tenses then immediately relaxes into Sam’s touch. 

From then on Sam takes any opportunity he can to touch Bucky, whether it’s casual touches that linger a second longer than just friendly or sitting on the couch, shoulders and thighs pressed up against each other. 

Eventually Bucky starts returning the touches. He rests his hand on Sam’s lower back or shoulder most often, because that’s enough for him to stay close to Sam and not give himself away altogether. Steve was right, Sam can see a difference in Bucky, it’s subtle but there all the same. He seems more relaxed and doesn’t mentally drift off like he used to. 

Sam takes his time with Bucky, wants to ease into this and make sure his feelings are real. He finds that they are very real and became deeper as a month goes by and they get closer and closer to each other. Not only does Sam see a change in Bucky, but also Steve. Steve seems more serene, like once he knows that Bucky is settled, he can move on with his life and take care of his needs and wants. 

Bucky never takes Sam for granted, always making sure he is fully paying attention and aware of where he is. He realizes that Sam has given him something he hadn’t thought he was missing; he was now present, rarely slipping back into his old dangerous thoughts. Sam keeps him focused on what is happening in his life now and he couldn’t be more grateful. 

It’s late one night at their current safe house, Sam and Bucky are lounging on Bucky’s bed watching a movie on an old VHS player. The movie ends and Sam starts to get up, but is stopped by a metal hand on his wrist. 

“Stay, please?” Bucky asks, not looking at Sam. He nods and squeezes Bucky’s hand and goes to turn off the TV and light. 

The curtains are thin enough to have the moon cast a glow over the room, so as they lay side by side they can still clearly see each other. Bucky lays a hand on Sam’s side, because now it’s familiar, touch really does anchor Bucky. 

“Thank you,” Bucky says and meets Sam’s eyes. 

“For what?” 

“Ever since I’ve got out of Hydra’s grip I’ve felt kind of lost. Like I was just drifting and I didn’t know how to live my own life again. But seeing you so at ease with everything, going with the flow, I started to focus on what I actually want.” 

“And what do you want?” Sam asks. 

“To continue my new life, and I’d like you to stay in it,” Bucky confesses. 

Sam presses his hand to Bucky’s heart and keeps it there, loving the feel of the warmth there. “I’d like that too.” It’s silent for a minute before Sam asks, “Bucky?” 

“Yeah?” 

Sam clears his throat, “I might be reading into this wrong, but um . . . can I- can I kiss you?” 

“Yes please,” Bucky smiles and cups Sam’s cheek as he leans in to kiss Sam. The kiss is sweet and patient; a culmination of what they’ve been building up to. 

Bucky pulls back and searches Sam’s face like he’s trying to look for any doubt. “Do you want this? Do you want me?” 

“Of course I do, what makes you think I don’t?” Sam asks and wraps his arm tight around Bucky’s side. 

“I’m just, I don’t think I’m what you deserve. You deserve the best and you know what I’ve done and-” Sam cuts Bucky off with another kiss. 

“Shh, none of that. You’ve been through hell and back and ended up here, on the good side, doing what needs to be done. Buck, you are one of the strongest men I know. You are amazing,” Sam praises Bucky and kisses his cheeks, his jaw, his lips. “Don’t ever think you aren’t good enough. If anything I’m going to try and make sure you don’t forget that.”

Bucky gapes at Sam, stunned by his words, “Sam, I lo-” he starts to say but cuts himself off. 

“Love you?” Sam finishes. 

Bucky sighs and smiles. “Yeah.” 

“I love you too,” Sam says and gets rewarded with Bucky’s blinding smile. 

Sam pulls Bucky to lay on his chest as he moves onto his back. They fit together perfectly and Sam cards a hand through Bucky’s hair as he traces Sam’s chest. 

“I need to thank Steve,” Sam says quietly. 

“Wait. Did Steve tell you?” 

“Yeah, like a month ago.” 

“He’s so dead,” Bucky huffs. 

“Don’t kill him, he brought me you. You should thank him too,” Sam laughs. 

“I guess that’s true,” Bucky agrees and kisses Sam’s jaw and settles in to sleep. 

*

It’s a few days later and Sam is asleep on the couch after a long and exhausting mission. 

Bucky and Steve are finished cleaning up and making sure they don’t leave any sign of what they did. Bucky walks over to the couch and sits on the edge so he doesn’t jostle Sam. He leans over and presses kisses all over Sam’s face to gently wake him up. When Sam does wake up he tilts his chin to catch Bucky’s lips. 

“Let’s go to bed, baby,” Bucky whispers and Sam hums, letting himself be pulled off the couch. On the way to their now shared bedroom, Bucky catches Steve watching them. Steve smiles at Bucky and Bucky returns it. As he feels Sam lean against him, rubbing his face against his shirt, Bucky thinks this is what he’s been waiting for. And he finally feels good enough.


End file.
